


Six Feet Under The Stars

by lexterminate



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: I got nothing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9187418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexterminate/pseuds/lexterminate
Summary: Bellamy says I love you.Murphy says no you don't, thanks for saying it.





	

It had been weeks or months since Bellamy had started spending nights in Murphy’s tent. He didn’t even really know how it started, just that whenever Bellamy could get away, he would show up after sundown and they’d fuck.

It didn’t start like that, at first it was just making out and some nights Murphy would suck Bellamy off.Bellamy commanding Murphy in gruff whispers, but they never did talk much besides that.Then they started sleeping together and it was everything Murphy needed.

Sometimes Bellamy would push Murphy against the dropship wall, his body pressed close againstthe younger boy, and they would kiss; heavy and hot and breathless, the older man's hands pushed up under his shirt pressed warm and rough on his skin. These were the only moments when Murphy felt anything. With Bellamy, he was electric and alive. He was human.

They had never been official, but there was something between them and they both knew it. John Murphy had been in love with Bellamy Blake since they met. Just his presence was overwhelming and Murphy would do anything for him.

Bellamy was the only good thing Murphy had in his sorry excuse of a life. It wasn't that way for Bellamy though and Murphy would never admit to him how he really felt.

They were a secret.

They weren't real.

They were two dark shadows becoming one when no one was watching, separating again in the harsh light of day. Murphy had accepted that.

What Murphy wanted and what he could have were two vastly different things and he had learned to live with what he could have. A few short hours with Bellamy buried inside of him, hot breath and sweaty skin ending in cold and empty sheets. He always woke up alone, fingerprint bruises across his pale skin as the only reminder that Bellamy was ever there. That was all that they were and it was okay. He could survive on that alone.

Bellamy had friends, family; he was a part of the world in a way that Murphy never was. Murphy wanted that for him because Bellamy deserved the whole wide world at his fingertips. Bellamy was like a sun drawing energy from everything around him and it fascinated Murphy because he could never be that or have that: to be so close to the sun, but always live in the shadows except in those few moments.

Being with Bellamy was tasting fire and Murphy loved to burn even if it was just for a little while.

That was until Bellamy surprised him:

That night when Bellamy showed up in his tent, he looked anxious. He paced the small space without looking at Murphy and the younger man had to corner him and get up in his face.

Murphy didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say; they didn’t usually have real conversations. In public, Bellamy rarely spoke to him unless he was putting him down for something he did wrong or didn’t do. In private, he told him what to do, but this was different.

“Bellamy?” Murphy finally asked, searching his face for answers.

”Murphy, I love you,” Bellamy admitted, his voice softer than usual as he met Murphy’s eyes and suddenly the younger man was taking a step a back. 

"No, you don't, Bell.” The reaction was instant. Murphy didn’t even think about it cause it couldn’t be true. 

"Yes—“ Bellamy started to say, but Murphy cut him off.

"Thanks for saying it, but this isn’t real,” He stated plainly, as if it was a matter of fact. “You deserve better and I want you to have better."

"You don't get to decide that, Murphy,” Bellamy told him and moved towards him, grabbing both of his hands and holding them in both of his. His grip was rough and his hands were warm. “I don't want better. I want you. You're enough for me, more than enough…” Bellamy said and then added in just above a whisper, “and I thought you wanted me too.”

"I always want— you,” Murphy’s voice cracked and he looked at the floor.

"Then why are we fighting about this?” Bellamy asked, confused. He let go of one of Murphy’s hands so he could touch his face. His fingers were gentle as they coaxed Murphy to look him in the eyes. “I love you,” He said. His hand was cupping Murphy’s cheek.

Murphy swallowed thickly and chewed on his bottom lip. He shook off Bellamy’s hands and took a step back.”So, why am I just your dirty little secret? Why are you always mean to me around Clarke and Octavia and Miller? What is this?”

He was angry and he was hurt and he was so very much in love. He just wanted answers. He wanted to know what was happening. 

Bellamy frowned. It was a fair response after how he’d treated Murphy in the past. ”I didn't think anyone would understand why I wanted this, why I needed you, but I don't care anymore I'm telling them."

“What? Why do you need me?" Murphy was surprised and he furrowed his brow as he waited for Bellamy’s reply, watching him closely.

"Because when I'm with you, nothing else exists,” Bellamy admitted. “I’m free and all there is is us and nothing else matters… That feeling that I can only find in your eyes and your lips and your hands.” Cautiously Bellamy approached Murphy again and carefully took his face in his hands. He looked Murphy in the eyes as he spoke, softly and slowly. “It's always been you, Murphy."

Murphy’s world stopped. He felt dizzy as he stared into Bellamy’s face searching for the hint of some kind of lie, but there was nothing.

This was real.

This was happening.

This was love.

Murphy smiled. ”I feel that way too, Bellamy. I love you too."

Bellamy smiled back at him. “I know,” he said before leaning into kiss him, soft and slow and not like any kiss they’d ever shared before. Murphy’s heart expanded in his chest, filled with such impossible happiness like he’d never felt before.

When the kiss broke, Bellamy stayed in Murphy’s space as they caught their breath. He nuzzled his nose in Murphy’s hair and wrapped his arms around his new boyfriend.

“Just so you know, Murphy, you're an idiot if you think you don't deserve better. You deserve so much more than I ever gave you, but that changes now,” Bellamy told him. “I want you to have the world. I want to give it to you...I'm telling Octavia that you're family now."

"I'm what now?" Murphy had buried his face in Bellamy’s chest, but he pulled back to look up at him.

"Family. My family. Our family. You're mine now and that makes you one of us,” Bellamy explained.

"Bell..." Murphy wasn’t used to that; he was never a part of anything. He never belonged. Now Bellamy had called him family and it felt right. He felt wanted.

"I mean it,” Bellamy assured him, kissing the top of Murphy’s head.

"I know. Thanks,” Murphy settled himself back in Bellamy’s arms and he felt complete.

This was how it was supposed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. Maybe let me know. Comment, Kudos, whatever the hell you want. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr: murphysurvived


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